The difference between a vacuum cleaner and a politician’s office is the position of the dirtbag.
If you think that “Gentlemen, start you engines” is the last phrase of the national anthem then you like NASCAR waaaay too much.
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
I’d give my left hand to be ambidextrous
A day without sunshine is dark.
Stop the presses. Mariotti’s IQ test came back negative.
Why we write our last name first?
Come on feel the Illinois!
What you seize is what you get
A hangover is the wrath of grapes



